Etro's Expiation
by xfang-girlx
Summary: How does one sleep at night, knowing that they may never wake? How does one wake up, knowing that this could be their last day? "I am... thankful... to have met you." As soon as she spoke those words, I knew something was wrong. Yeul/Caius (AU)
1. The End?

**A/N: **This is my first attempt at first person POV, constructive critism is welcomed. :) Enjoy! x

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Etro's Expiation - Prologue

The bland smell of disinfectant filled my nostrils, making me feel sick as I stood in the hallway. Was lemon or lavender not available when they bought it in truck loads? I had spent more time in this hospital in the last seven months than most people would spend in any during their life time. You would've thought that I was used to it by now, the smell as well as the dread that came along with the thought of why I was here, but I wasn't. Every time I wished that it would all end. Not her life but her sickness.

Nurses walked passed me to and fro, some pushing wheel chairs and others just holding clipboards. They had long ago stopped trying to get me to stay in the waiting room. Some were frightened of the cold and menacing look I sent their way, and others didn't care as long as I was out of their way. Time always dragged slowly as I waited outside her room. She also spent a lot of time in this hospital that they always had the same room empty, predicting that it wouldn't be long before she were to return again.

The blinds were shut so I couldn't see inside the room. _Why is it taking so long?_ She had been in a lot of pain, her headache being the worst one to date. The doctor had insisted I stay outside and that was three hours ago. This was getting unhealthy for me. I should just go to the cafeteria on the bottom floor and wait, but I couldn't bring myself to move. It would be just my luck that something important happened while I was too busy eating noodles. That thought brought in a memory from a few months ago and I couldn't help but laugh.

Suddenly the blinds opened and I saw the doctor staring at me, my laughter instantly ceased. There was no way to tell whether he had good or bad news with his apathetic expression. My eyes flickered to the bed at the far side of the room. I let go of the breath I had unknowingly been holding. At least the sheet wasn't covering her _whole_ body. I could still see her face. A nurse was removing a needle that had been injected into the inside of her elbow.

"Mr. Ballad, I would say it is a pleasure to see you again, but given the circumstances…" The doctor smiled slightly, I didn't bother smiling back at him. There was nothing to smile about, even though I had been laughing seconds beforehand.

I continued staring at him silently, inwardly disgusted at his attempt to lighten up the situation.

He gave an awkward laugh. "She is stable at the moment. We have just taken her off the Thiopental, so she should come out of her induced coma in a few hours. I suggest you get something to eat and maybe some sleep as well, I know you have been out here the whole time."

"I just want to see her, everything else can wait."

The doctor stepped aside, letting me through the door and into her room. "You only have a few hours until you will be made to leave. Remember that only a family member is allowed to stay past visiting hours."

"Where do you see her family?" I asked angrily. I had to stop myself before I did or say something I would regret. The doctor didn't know the truth, it wasn't his fault and he was just following his protocol. I doubt anyone knew the truth about her family, apart from me.

"I've tried getting in contact with them, the number she supplied us with doesn't seem to be the primary one."

I decided to ignore him, before I did say something she wouldn't want me to and went over to her side. I stared at her lifeless form on the bed, looking so thin and frail. There were a few indications to show that she wasn't dead. The way her chest rose and fell as shallow breaths left her lips. The way her eyes were moving under their lids, as if searching for something in her sleep. I pushed aside a stand of her hair, just needing to touch her and feel the warmth of her under my fingertips. She wasn't cold and that was a good sign. I could hear her heartbeat through the machine she was hooked to, the rhythmic sound almost lulling me to sleep. I refused to let my eyes drift shut, even for a second. No matter how tired I was, I wouldn't until I knew that she was safe and awake.

It was me, the one who was supposed to protect her when no one else could. She was not dead, not yet, hopefully not ever. The end was inevitable and her borrowed time was ticking away. She had already lived a month past the time doctors had predicted her death. It gave me hope, the useless hope that kept me going. There could be possibilities and futures if she lived, hope gave us that. She didn't believe in hope, she was sure her end was near. Her skin was deathly pale and any redness that her cheeks once held hours ago was gone.

Hearing her groan and move around, I instantly sat upright. I was invigorated by the sound, even if she hadn't spoken a word. It meant she was close to waking. I reached over to hold her hand in mine, ignoring the disapproving stares from the nurses that would stop outside the window and peer inside. It was more the older ones that had their eyes narrowed, the younger ones would have their heads tilted to the right with a small smile playing on the lips. If they had narrow eyes, it would be through jealousy of the girl lying on the bed. If I could bear being away from her for a few seconds I would go over and close the blinds, but I stayed seated.

"Yeul…" My voice came out hoarse as I whispered her name. She was tossing from side to side and looking like she was in pain, but there was no way to be sure. The machine was still beating the slow rhythm of her heart. _Wouldn't it become faster if she were in trouble?_ I asked myself, gazing at her serene features. She appeared to be happy, so why wasn't she waking up? Would there always be this endless cycle of her ending up in the hospital? _No_. I knew it wouldn't last forever because _she_ wouldn't be here forever.

Being beside her I couldn't stay awake, my eyelids were starting to get heavier by the second. I hadn't had any sleep for over a day. Before this trip to the hospital everything had been fine, I was happy. It came too suddenly, her headache, and that was when the happiness all disappeared. Slowly my eyes did the very thing I had sworn them not to do. My head lulled forward, resting against her side and I fell asleep, listening to the machine and hoping by the time I next awoke, she would also be awake.

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"Mr…uh…Mr. Ballad?" I was woken up by someone's gentle voice and a tentative shaking of my shoulder.

For a second I thought it was Yeul and sat up suddenly, looking over at her I could see she was still sleeping. My mood darkened and I looked over at the nurse who had been the one. She looked petrified when I shifted my eyes up to look into hers. If she wasn't shaking so much, she would've been pretty. No one could blame her though. I was giving her a harsh cold look, almost daring her to say something that I wouldn't like.

She still blushed at my intense stare and looked away before continuing to talk. "The visiting hours are over, I'm sorry but I am going to have to ask you to leave."

I looked over at the girl on the bed, still unconscious, I wasn't aware that my gaze had softened. "Give me a few more minutes."

"Okay, but only a few." She hesitated before talking in a shy voice. "You must really care about her, the nurses all talk about how you are the only one to be here for her."

I just grunted at her, wondering why she was still standing there. Couldn't she notice I wanted to be alone?

"Caius…" A soft voice came from the patient as she slowly opened her eyes. Looking around the room she frowned.

"Yeul, you are awake." I cupped her cheek with my large hand, stroking it with a thumb and got her to look at me.

"I'll leave you two alone and tell the doctor she is awake." The nurse left, but neither people still in the room had listened to a word she said.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, there were no signs that she was in pain, but one couldn't be sure.

"There is no pain." She smiled a little, as if knowing exactly what I had been thinking. "I do not have long to live…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Etro… she visited me while I was sleeping."

"Etro? Who is that?" I wanted to shout at her, tell her to stop talking nonsense. "Wait, that still doesn't explain why you don't have long to…" I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence.

Yeul didn't reply and let go of my hand. Her fingers hovered over a beaded bracelet she was wearing, one I had never seen her not wear. She took it off and held it out to me. I shook my head at her, pushing it away. Her eyebrows were drawn close together and she frowned.

"Please… take it." I shook my head again. With all the strength had, which wasn't much to begin with, she held onto my arm placed the beads around my wrist. I stared at it, trying to figure out what this meant before looking at her confused. She only gave a small smile and broke eye contact with me to stare at the ceiling. "I am… thankful… to have met you."

As soon as she spoke those words, I knew something was wrong. She gave my hand one last squeeze as her eyes closed. She had a restful smile on her face as she released her last breath and I didn't want to believe it. The machine that was connected to her stopped beating and gave a shrilled tone instead, as if crying out for the girl. I closed my eyes wanting to wake up from this nightmare. _Yeul_…_ no_... I tried to prepare myself for this moment, I had, but it didn't make it any less painful.

I felt a couple of tears glide down my cheek and saw them fall onto her hand, the one I was still clutching. Even though I knew the reality of what happened, I didn't want it to be true. She was only a child. Children weren't supposed to die so young, not while they were still had so much to give. She had been beautiful when full of life and even now as she laid there lifeless, she was beautiful. This wasn't fair, for me and especially for her. _Yeul_... A name that had passed through my lips so many times recently and now it felt foreign. She was not part of this world anymore.

"Mr. Ballad. It is time to let go of her. You have a lot that you need to plan and you need to rest first."

"No!" I turned around and glared at the doctor who had most likely been in the room the entire time, and saw the whole thing. A different nurse came in to disconnect the machine. After hearing just silence it just made everything worse and more real. "There has to be something you can do, something to bring her back to me!" I grabbed onto his coat while I shouted in his face.

"She's gone. _Dead_. There is nothing I can do." He paused for a moment as if to let his words sink into me, but I wouldn't let them. "Now let go of me Mr. Ballad, before I am made to call security."

I surrendered at that moment. Letting go of him I went back to Yeul before falling to my knees and held her hand again. I was tall enough so that I was still able to see her clearly without stretching my neck. My hand moved on its own accord and stroked her cheek. There was no warmth there, just coldness. "Please, let me just spend this night with her."

I could imagine him running a hand through his already thinning hair. It was a habit he would do quite regularly during the times Yeul would be in the hospital. I heard him sigh deeply. "Make sure you are out of here before the morning." I could hear him leaving and silently thanked him.

I kept on looking at her and the final smile her features held. I couldn't make myself cry any more than the little time that occurred at the beginning of her death. I knew this moment had been just around the corner but I was just too damn hopeful for my own good. The last seven months blurred past me, from the moment she first bumped into me until she closed her eyes a few minutes ago. There is a saying that you should take the bad with the good and I normally did that, but right now I wished there was no bad and only good.

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The funeral was small, just a few class mates and teachers gathered. Her doctor and even a couple of familiar nurses attended. Noel stood beside me at the back of the church. As much as I wanted to go to the front as say something, I knew I couldn't, it would raise too many questions. Everyone wondered where her parents were and why they weren't at their daughter's funeral. They were all clueless. My presence there still got stares, Noel's presence not so much because he looked closer to her age.

I had made the decision to have her cremated, it was what she wanted. I held her urn as I stood on the beach, facing the ocean, she had also wanted to be scattered here. I was conflicted, by her wishes and my own selfish need. In my hands I held her ashes and I wanted to keep them because as soon as I took the lid off, I knew she would finally be gone.

Taking in a deep breath of the salty breeze, I walked into the ocean. I hadn't bothered rolling up my pants. It wouldn't have made much difference. I made my way out until the water was up to my waist. The sea was cold, but I ignored the chill. Closing my eye and before I could argue with myself any longer I took the lid off the urn. The breeze uplifted the top ashes and they fell into the ocean turning it murkier. Slowly I started shaking the urn around, the ashes falling everywhere around me, floating on top of the water before disappearing underneath it forever.

The sun was just about to set and after paying my respects of a second time I turned around to leave. Standing on the beach was a girl, facing away from me. In the fading light I could tell her hair was the same shade of blue as the one whose ashes I had just scattered. _Yeul?_ She turned around as if hearing me call out to her even though it was only a thought. I blinked to clear any haziness that blurred my sight but the girl was gone, nowhere to be seen. I quickly waded through the water to get to the spot I saw the girl standing in, there were no foot prints. I shook my head a few times, she looked so real. _Hallucinating. How long is this going to keep up?_


	2. Passing Out

**A/N: **Here's the 'first' chapter. It might be confusing to begin with but it should make sense as you read it. Enjoy! x

**Warning: **Could contain offensive material. It is not intentional.

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Etro's Expiation - 1

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the ceiling, it looked so familiar yet foreign at the same time. I was just glad to be in my own room, I think I cared more about not being in a hospital than still being alive. Taking in a deep breath, I slowly released it while I just stayed on my back, laying there and waiting for a bit, before finally summoning the courage to get out of my bed. What I wanted to do was crawl back under the covers, rest in the foetal position and fall back asleep, but I couldn't. It was always a good sign in the morning when I awoke and today would be like any other weekday, if I were to live through it.

A doctor had told me that I would be lucky to live for a year, and that was six months ago. For as long as I can remember I suffered from thunderclap headaches. When the doctor had told me the name of my painful and intense migraines, I laughed. _Thunderclap? Really?_ The next time there had been a thunderstorm I finally realised the true meaning of such a name. It became a routine to hide when I felt the pain start in my head, all because I didn't want to go to the tall building that was white and smelt funny. I had the same reaction when it started to rain, I find myself rushing to my bed and hiding. I have become fearful of a simple meteorological phenomenon and all because I suffer from headaches.

During one of my nastier headaches I had passed out and was sent to the hospital, it was there that I was told of my true illness. I had glioma. It was a tumour, located in my brain. My ignorance led to the clutter of cells being undetected until then. The tumour was at a point that any treatment wouldn't guarantee a recovery. I didn't want any treatment. It was probably selfish and slightly vain of me to think that. The thought of losing my hair was more horrible to me than a certain death. What if I went through all that suffering just to come to the same conclusion in the end? I didn't want to risk it and I also didn't want to take the chance.

I remember the sombre look the doctor gave me as he told me my fate. At the time I didn't react, I was numb and it truly didn't sink in that I had a death sentence. As time progressed I found myself going through four out of five stages that people go through after finding out they have a terminal illness. There was denial and isolation, anger, depression, and acceptance. Normally the third one was bargaining, but I wasn't stupid. I knew there was nothing in my power or control that could prevent me from dying. Miracles didn't happen to those who don't want them.

_It had been one day after the terrible numbing news I received and I went straight to school, carrying on with my normal schedule. _Nothing_ was wrong with me and if I acted like it, it would be true. The few friends I had, I stayed away from. Every time they nagged, I ignored them. Every question of my well-being that was asked, I gave them all the same reply. 'Nothing is wrong, I am fine.' I didn't know whether I was saying it to convince them or to convince myself. Soon they gave up and believed me. I was happy being alone and I too started believing that everything would be okay._

_The loneliness got to me after a few weeks. I found myself thinking thoughts I really didn't want to hear. I kept myself busy, immersed myself in schoolwork and housework, but I still kept to myself. The only good to come out of it all was my grades had improved and I had a cleaner house to come home too. It wasn't enough to keep the underlining thoughts away. The truth wanted to show its ugly face to me and have me accept it for what_ it_ was. I wasn't going to give in, not yet._

_Two months after finding out the news, there were noticeable changes to my mood. One tiny thing could set me off and I felt like I had no control over it. In class the guy sitting at the desk beside me started flicking his pen against the wood. Tap, tap, tap…tap. It wouldn't stop and was doing my head in, one way to trigger an unwanted headache. My outburst surprised the whole class. Everyone looked at me as if I was crazy. I was told by our teacher to wait outside, but at least the guy wasn't holding his pen anymore. I was blaming anything and everything for what had happened to me._

_It wasn't my fault. I was innocent to all of this. I noticed that my former friends started ignoring me altogether, pretending to not know me. That was fine, I deserved it. I had stopped wanting to be alone but I found myself lonely anyway, all because of my earlier actions. Now people were scared to come near me. I was always sending glares to those who were starting to annoy me. The way they stopped surprised me, I was sure some would try and test my boundaries, see just how far I would go._

_Another two months and my temper hadn't improved. I was drying the dishes and putting them away. One of the bigger plates fell from my grip smashing on the floor and I just stared at the mess on the ground while motionless. If someone had been looking at me, if they were observant, I'm sure they would've seen that for a split second my eyes were devoid of any emotion. It got to the point where I had expected myself to lash out, kick a cupboard, and maybe smash another plate, this time on purpose. _

_Instead I fell to the floor, the sharp pieces of porcelain cut into my knees and hands as I held myself up. I saw my tears splash onto the floor before I had even realised I was crying. My body shook as I sobbed loudly. I was going to die in less than a year and I was feeling sorry for myself. I didn't deserve this, no one did. Yet here I was, suffering, in this situation. I stayed home, in my room, for a whole week. I wasn't ready to face anyone like this. School ended up being a blur. I would arrive as a corpse and leave as one. When I got home, my eyes were leaking and I had to rush and get the tissues which were beside my bed. _

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, brushing the long dark blue tresses that fell from my head. I had finally accepted my fate a week ago. I was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. Although the doctor suggested I go through various therapies to try and fight the tumour, I found it pointless. The only certainty I was given was my death. The time it took for me to die was the only variable that could change, whether I went along with the doctor's ideas or not.

My green eyes blinked a few times, flicking away the few tears that would appear during this time of the morning. It still saddened me, but I was okay with this sadness. I had become social again at school, no longer thought of as a freak. That didn't stop some students taking a wide berth when nearing me. I have one friend now, Noel. He was in his last year of school while I was in my second. I haven't told him anything. I could just imagine his looks of pity and sympathy. He already concerns himself over everything I do and I can imagine it would just get worse. I was beyond that and didn't need it, so I stayed silent. I acted as if everything was fine.

I tried to smile, lips curved upwards, but the corners always managed to even out. I tried for a second time but still nothing that stayed. The smile I would've worn looked like it was forced anyway. A sneer easily crossed over my face as I stared at my school uniform in the reflection. Short skirt, check. White top that would become see-through when it started raining, check. A laugh filled the air and I was able to smile, remember a conversation I had with Noel, back when I first met him. He adamantly defended the school's choice of female uniform, saying that it helps accentuate the best parts of the body which apparently helps the male population of the school to strive to achieve more. Though he didn't elaborate, I was pretty sure he wasn't talking about achieving better grades.

I looked outside and saw the darkening clouds above, a sure sign it would rain, just what I needed. Searching the room for my school jacket, I found it in the laundry basket, dirty from the previous week. The thought of wearing it made me grimace, how did I miss it when I washed the rest of my uniform over the weekend? I checked the time and there just wasn't enough left. Quickly finding my umbrella I made a dash out the front door. Breakfast could wait until lunch. I had glioma, so hunger was the least of my worries.

Valhalla was a peaceful city, home to a couple thousand residents. The weather patterns were so unpredictable that the news stopped broadcasting the ending weather section altogether. Oerba High was the only high school in the city and luckily it was so close to me I could walk the distance without getting sore feet. The teachers there are always getting students to work hard for their futures, but what about those with no future? Those like me? I pretend to have dreams, that way no one asks questions. In reality, my dreams are meaningless.

The air was cold, but I didn't have time to complain when I saw Noel waiting for me at the front gates. I tried to contain the shivers that were threatening to take over me. It didn't work in my favour that we were just standing outside. Not only did my body start to quiver but my stomach grumbled with lack of food. Noel looked over to me and laughed, but as soon as I glared at him, he stopped holding his hands up as if surrendering.

"What happened to your jacket? Can't you see it's going to rain any time now?"

"I couldn't find it." We hadn't been friends for long, so I was able to lie to him easily. I was also embarrassed for forgetting to wash it. "You always insist I meet you here early, so you can't blame me for not having enough time."

It was warmer when they made it inside the building. The halls were empty, with only a few teachers passing by. Hardly any students came to school this early, always waiting till the last minute before arriving to class. We were going to the library, where hopefully they had the heaters going. The large room was filled with tables and chairs, majority of the walls were lined with books and there were a few book-filled shelves near the back. Everything was categorised and kept orderly, something usually expected but hard to do.

Noel began taking off his jacket as they sat down at one of the secluded table at the back. "Here, I think you have more use for it than me."

"Thank you." I gave him a small smile and accepted the jacket, placing my arms through it.

I had to push up the sleeves because they were too long and covered my hands. I welcomed the warmth it gave me. For everyone it was easy to forget the simple things, they were taken for granted. Even with my condition, I found myself doing the same, old habits die hard. Thunder was heard rumbling outside, masking the way my stomach made a similar noise again. _Why did I choose to not have dinner last night?_ I shivered again and Noel had mistaken it to be because I might still have been cold. He decided to sit next to me and I blushed lightly at the closeness.

"When was the last time you ate?" He placed his bag on the table and even though food was forbidden in the library, he took out a sandwich.

"I'm not hungry." Of course my stomach decided to tell him otherwise. I shook my head at his offering. "I don't want it, I can wait until lunch."

His blue eyes searched mine, looking for something while being concerned at the same time. He didn't even know everything about me and he still felt like it was his job to look after me. I broke the eye contact and found my fingernails much more interesting to look at. Noel sighed deeply and it sounded like he was putting everything away. He got up and went over to one of the bookshelves, seemingly giving up. Oh how wrong I was. With a book in his hand, he came back over and slid it across the table under my eyesight.

_Dealing with Anorexia_. I actually laughed and this surprised him. "Noel, I'm not anorexic."

"Well I don't think you are eating properly. _No one_ chooses to wait for food." He refused to take the book as I tried to give it back to him.

I got up and went over to the bookshelves. Looking at all the titles, but I couldn't find any that would get a point across and also have some humour in it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Noel staring, almost analysing my actions. I was about to give up when one book caught my eye at the very bottom, bending down, I picked it up with a small smirk on my features.

"This is the book you should've given me instead." I handed it to him and laughed at his confused expression. Two times in less than ten minutes, it had to be a record.

"_Coping with Overbearing Parents_. Yeul, are you trying to tell me your parents are controlling?" The worry in his voice was etched so far in his face, it was sure to leave permanent wrinkles.

I shook my head. "No, it's for _you_."

Noel grunted, dismissing the idea entirely. As he chucked the book on the table, the warning bell sounded, telling us that we had to get to class. I said a farewell to him and promised to give his jacket back at lunch. He made a promise to make me eat at lunch, still thinking I had a problem. _How would he react if he knew the truth?_ The first few classes went by smoothly and true to our words, we went through with our promises. The rest of the day passed quickly and soon the final bell rang and I was out of school.

The dark clouds were still looming with the threat of rain. I had to try and not jump at the sound of thunder that crashed above me. My eyes were on the ground and I was walking as fast as my legs could carry me. I wanted to get home and hide in my bed under the covers. This whole day had been torture, not only because I had to sit through boring classes but the thunder was continuous. It wouldn't stop. If tomorrow was anything like today, I would be skipping it.

I was sprawled on the ground before I realised I had bumped into someone. I could only see their black boots, which looked menacing, so I didn't want to look up and see who was towering over me. A calloused hand came in front of my vision and as soon as I touched it, I jumped back screaming. My hands held onto my head as pain radiated through it, of all the times to get a headache, it had to be now. I assumed the person I had bumped into was a man and was sure he would've been looking at me strangely.

"Are you okay?" He had a deep voice and alarm was laced within it.

I just shook my head, unable to speak, slowly feeling myself lose consciousness. I did not want this, not now, not out in the open. I tried to get up, unaware that the man was now on his knees supporting me. I finally looked at him and all I saw was purple before my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Pain was always more bearable when blacked-out.


	3. Waking Up

**A/N: **I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I couldn't think of any way to improve it. :/ Anyway, enjoy! x

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Etro's Expiation - 2

"I… I am not dead…"

It was my first thought that I spoke upon gaining consciousness. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed, though I'm sure only displeasure was heard in my voice. I still had my eyes closed, I was scared to open them, knowing I was in a place I hated. The smell of disinfectant was strong, creating no illusion of where I was taken after passing out. I could already imagine the room, white walls and everything that screamed _clean_. It was set aside for me because I fell unconscious regularly and usually when I was outside.

"Dead? Why would you be dead?"

Normally I would wake up alone, my saviours off with other business to do soon after bringing me here. Everything was more important than a school girl with health problems. It was the voice of the man I had bumped into earlier. Still deep but instead of alarm, there was concern, an emotion I despised hearing. My eyes screwed up even more, to try and prevent them opening like they wanted to. I remembered seeing purple before I blacked-out. Was it his hair or his eyes that were purple? I couldn't picture him clearly in my mind. If I tried to, all I saw were his black boots and a calloused hand.

There was no way to stop the inevitable, so I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a ceiling, again. My fears were confirmed, I wasn't in my room. There were fluorescent lights on the ceiling, lighting up the room because it was dark outside. Thunder rumbled and rain started pouring down, hitting the window with force given by the wind. My day had just turned from bad to worse. Not only was I in a hospital, but if I wanted to get home, I would have to walk in this disastrous weather.

"No, no…why did you bring me here?"

Was it obvious that I was panicking? I sat up in the bed and pulled the covers up to my chin when I heard the thunder for a second time. The feeling of my school skirt riding up was enough for me to realise I hadn't been changed out of my uniform. This was enough to calm me down, even if it was just a little bit. The first time I was had passed out and was brought here, six months ago, I woke up to find myself in the hospital garb. I am ashamed to admit, I pulled a massive hissy fit. It had not been a good day for me because moments after I was told of my condition, but at least they know not to change my clothes.

"This is a hospital. They should be able to help you."

I turned to the man in the far corner of the room. There was a chair beside the bed but it looked like it hadn't been used. I was able to fully see him for the first time. The purple I remember seeing was from his hair, it was straight and long, reaching his mid-back. When he looked over at me, I saw that his eyes were also purple. _How strange_. It was the only thought since I have been awake that wasn't said out loud.

"They can't help me… no one can."

I laughed humourlessly. Not only had I accepted death, I welcomed it. The pain in my head was gone, something that probably left on its own and not by any help of a doctor or nurse. My hand went to my forehead and I tentatively prodded it, expecting the pain to start up again. Thankfully nothing happened. It would usually take over a day for the thunderclap headache to go away but it looked like only a couple of hours had gone by since I finished the school day.

I saw his mouth open to speak but nothing came out of it. He closed it soon after and remained silent. I didn't bother saying anything else. I couldn't stop staring at his hair. There were many people in Valhalla with unusual hair, even mine could be placed in that category. I had never seen any like his before, it was as if I expected him to adorn feathers in it and start speaking some ancient dialect. _That_ is how strange I thought he was.

"What did you me-"

He finally decided to speak, but his question had been interrupted by some loud commotion outside the room. The blinds covering the window facing the hallway were shut, so there was no way to see what was going on. The shouting grew louder and sounded familiar. It sounded like her only friend. _Noel couldn't possibly be here, right?_ It had only been a few hours and he had no way of knowing that I was in the hospital. The door opened to reveal Noel, confirming my guess. He was soaking wet in the school uniform and out of breath.

"Yeul!" He started wheezing, leaning on his knees to try and gain more air. "They were… trying to tell me… that you weren't… in here." Noel stopped speaking when he noticed the purple haired man also in the room. He caught back his breath and was able to talk normally. "Who are you? What are you doing in here?" I saw his eyes narrow, focusing on the brand embroidered on the man's black attire. "Better yet, what is a Farseer bodyguard doing here?"

My eyes drifted from the puddle forming at Noel's feet to the man who had brought me here. _A Farseer bodyguard?_ I remember Noel telling me about how after he finishes the school year, he wants to train and become a bodyguard. There are two corporations in Valhalla that specialise in training and acquiring bodyguards, Farseer and NORA. That was his dream for the future, I never asked him which company he was thinking of joining, maybe I should have.

"He-"

"I'm her bodyguard. Why else would I be here?" The man had interrupted me and I tried not to look shocked.

His eyes pierced mine, as if trying to get me to say otherwise. He pulled up the chair beside the bed and sat in it, probably the first time the chair had been used since I was in here. Noel looked over at me and I could tell he didn't want to believe what the man had said, he would be right not to. I gave him the best smile I could muster without it seeming fake and nodded.

"I have his assistance for a short time…" My eyes wandered back to the man sitting beside me until Noel's movement brought my gaze to him again. I watched as he made his way to the other side of the bed. "What are you doing here? School finished only a couple of hours ago."

Noel shook his head. "Yeul, today you weren't at school. A whole day has passed by." He placed one of his hands on the bed and if I wasn't still holding the blankets up to my chin, I'm sure he would've tried to hold one. "I got worried and overheard some girls gossiping about some tall, handsome man taking you to the hospital." He paused briefly to glare at the other man.

Tall? Handsome? I looked over at the man who had a brief smug smile and was staring at Noel. When he was standing, the man still towered over me and I had some extra height being on the hospital bed. As for his appearance, he wasn't an ugly man, too old for my taste but I could understand why the girls would say what they said. I hoped there wouldn't be any rumours when I got back to school. I didn't care for my reputation, I'm a dying person and it doesn't bother me. I just knew it would affect Noel if I was to be treated badly. I didn't want that.

"I came to see if you were okay." Noel's voice brought me out of my mind.

The sound of the door opening got my attention to focus on the elder man who stood there. He was holding a clipboard and pen. A stern look was on his face and from experience I knew he didn't smile a lot, at least not when he worked. This man was my doctor and although he was kind to me, that didn't make me want to be here anymore than I had to be.

"She is fine now." He stated, addressing all of us. "I have tried getting in contact with your parents Yeul, but they are yet to answer. I've left a few messages but when you get home, tell them to call me. I have a lot to discuss with them."

I smiled at the doctor and nodded. "I will. Does this mean I can go home now?"

"Yes."

"No."

"No!"

All three guys in the room spoke at the same time. The doctor was the only one to give the affirmative to my question. It was the only answer I heard, choosing to ignore the other two. He left the room and I was left with two guys who had stubbornly thought I would be better staying in the hospital. I was happy to be able to leave, I jumped off of the bed to grab my umbrella and school bag but the sound of more thunder made me shriek. Noel and the man who claimed to be my bodyguard, hurried over to where I was, seeing if I was okay.

"I'm fine. I just don't like thunder." I tried to assure them but they stared at me with solemn expressions. "I'm okay, really. Thank you for coming here, but I'm going to go home now."

"Not by yourself. It's dark, anything could happen." Noel protested, grabbing the umbrella from my hand and holding it.

"Oh?" The man said in an amused tone. "You're only a little boy, what could you do to protect her?" He took my bag and started walking out of the room, not wanting to hear a reply.

I stood there, staring after him but not moving. Looking out the window, I saw that it was still raining. I shivered at the thought of being out in the cold. The sooner we got to my house the better. My school jacket was still in the washing basket at home, I would have to remember to clean it when I got there. I could tell that Noel was fuming beside me as we made our way to the front of the hospital. He had offered me his jacket but I mentioned that it probably wouldn't help since it was still soaking from his way over here.

"I know we haven't known each other for long, but how come you never told me you had a bodyguard?" Noel kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke. His voice was full of contempt. "What's his name?"

I ignored his first question thinking he was quite hypocritical for having such disdain towards the man. Didn't he also want a career as a bodyguard? "His name is-" _Xavier?_

"Caius. Caius Ballad."

They were outside and luckily the aforementioned man was able to answer before I said the first name that came to my mind. That would've been awkward if I had been allowed to continue. Noel looked between us and I knew he didn't want to believe that I was acquainted with Caius. I had to keep up the act, it would cause too many unwanted questions if I didn't. Like, why he was the one to take me to the hospital, or why he was still there after a whole day went by?

"Caius, huh?" Noel pondered as he opened the umbrella and we started walking in the direction of my home. "I don't like you. Yeul is safe with me. I will take her home and explain everything to her parents."

"That's not necessary, th-" I started before being interrupted.

"Her parents are away on business." Caius stated.

He didn't seem to care that he was the only one out in the rain while Noel and I were under the umbrella. The rain dampened his hair, darkening it and making it look longer than it actually was. Caius was still holding my bag which was also getting wet, I held a hand out towards him and he reluctantly gave it back to me. I would have to question him when we were alone, he knew too much and I wanted to know how.

"Let me guess, that's why you are babysitting her?" Noel talked about me as if I wasn't next to him, until he turned his head and whispered into my ear. "No wonder you weren't eating properly. I bet this guy doesn't even know how to cook. I can make some room at my place, Hope won't mind, and you can stay there until your parents get back."

The worry and concern in his voice was evident and I didn't like it. "I will be fine at my home, I would prefer to be there, especially because-" I jumped when the thunder decided to rumble, it had been going so well. "-because of this weather." I stayed quiet for a bit before remember the first thing Noel had said. "And he isn't babysitting me!"

Both were surprised with my little outburst and no one talked again while we made it back to my house. It gave me another question to ask Caius. He had been leading the whole way from the hospital and hadn't asked for directions once. After finding the key in my bag and opening the door, I invited them into the empty house. I got Noel a towel to dry off with and Caius stayed at the entrance looking very out of place.

"So why were you in the hospital?" Noel asked curiously, I had been hoping he wouldn't ask anything until school the next day.

"She-"

"Yeul can speak for herself!" It was lucky that Noel had shouted his interruption because the thunder made itself known again and so we were just able to hear him.

"I…" I looked between both guys. The oldest was amused at the younger one's anger, who only appeared to be troubled. I knew Noel would only get worse once he found out, so I took a deep breath and readied myself for his reaction. "I suffer from severe headaches and sometimes I pass out." I didn't say the name of such a headache. _I_ still couldn't get over how ridiculous it sounded. What I said wasn't the full truth, I knew that, but it would be enough for him to stop asking questions. Questions I didn't want to answer.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"No." I tried to look him in the eyes while I lied but I couldn't, instead I made eye contact with Caius. If Noel knew about my dishonesty, he didn't vocalise it. "Shouldn't you be heading home Noel? You can keep my umbrella and give it back to me at school tomorrow."

"I don't need it." He placed the umbrella on the ground, leaning it against the corner. "Just get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." It surprised me when he came up to me and hugged me. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before placing my arms around his shoulders. I could see Caius' amused grin as Noel tightened his grip around me and whispered into my ear. "I know there is something you aren't telling me, I'll be there for you when you want to talk about it. I don't trust this Caius guy, so be careful okay?"

I could only nod when he released me and I did my best to give him a reassuring smile. Noel left but not before he glared at the bodyguard.

"I should head off too." Caius said after a few minutes of them staying in silence.

I went to the front door and childishly stood in front of it, blocking him from leaving. "Not until you answer a few questions I have."

He crossed his arms, staying in his spot. "If it is about my cooking skill, I'll have you know that they may not be perfect, but I can still create edible meals."

I also crossed my arms and tried to harden my gaze, not letting myself laugh at his attempt to be funny.


	4. Speaking the Truth

**A/N: **I hope this chapter style isn't too confusing. Enjoy! x

* * *

Etro's Expiation - 3

I sat in class, pretending to pay attention to Mrs. Villiers as she rambled on about the history of Valhalla. Although Noel had told me to get some rest last night, I didn't get any. I was so close to falling asleep that I don't think any amount of caffeine would be able to keep me awake. I refused to close my eyes. I _needed_ to stay awake, even if it was to prevent having any attention drawn to me. All I could think about was the conversation I had with Caius and every revelation that came with it.

"_What do you know about my parents?" I surmised that he had to know something or else how would…_

"_I know that they aren't on holiday." Caius stared at the ground in front of me. "I know that they are dead… and have been for a couple of years."_

_I stayed silent but wondered how he knew so much. My parents stayed at home, living off of an inheritance from my dead grandmother. I came home to find pictures of their bodies and waited for weeks hoping it wasn't true, but they never came home from wherever they went._

"_What did you know about your parents?"_

"_What do you mean?" I lashed out angrily with words. Was he implying that I didn't know my own parents, the ones who raised me since I came into this world? "They never worked and were always there for me when I needed them."_

_Caius shook his head and finally looked into my eyes. "Your parents co-leaded Farseer."_

The ringing of the bell woke me up from the slumber I was in. It indicated lunch time and I quickly packed up my books to go to the cafeteria. I don't remember closing my eyes but I also don't remember anything that happened at the end of class. As I walked to the door, a stern voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Yeul, I'd like to speak with you."

It was Mrs. Villiers, formerly known as Serah Farron. She was married to the leader of the NORA, Snow Villiers. There had been rumours going around that near the beginning of their relationship things had been rough. I didn't know enough to make my own opinions on the matter. With most rumours, you didn't know how much of them were fact or fiction.

"Yes?"

She smiled endearingly at me and got me to come closer, waiting for all the other students to leave before talking again. "I noticed you fell asleep halfway through my class and you also didn't turn up yesterday. Is everything at home alright, anything that would cause you to have a restless sleep?"

"_No…" I back away from him but only hit the door behind me. "That's not true and it doesn't make any sense." They always told me to be wary of any bodyguards. Oh, why didn't I listen to them?_

"_You have nothing to fear from me." Caius said, walking closer to me. He knew I had nowhere else to go, I was trapped. "Your parents assigned all the clients to us. They gave me one last client to protect before they died. It was as if they knew what was about to happen."_

"_Who was your last client?" It was my curiosity that made me ask, nothing else. I wasn't _actually_ interested._

"There was a stray chocobo that wouldn't go home last night, but apart from that everything is fine." _And by stray chocobo I mean purple haired bodyguard_. I tried my best to give her a reassuring smile. I don't think she believed it.

"If you say so…" Mrs. Villiers went back to behind her desk and pulled out some papers that needed to be graded. "You should eat some lunch. It might wake you up a bit more."

I nodded and left the room, walking at the slowest pace I could get away with, without seeming even weirder. I had met Noel earlier that morning and even though he said he would wait until I was ready to tell him everything, he insisted on knowing the truth. At first he asked if Caius knew and when I gave no reply, Noel got the answer he wanted from me. I promised to tell him at lunch and now I was dreading his reaction in such a public place.

I entered the cafeteria and saw Noel sitting in the far corner, furthest away from the large group of noisy students. I lined up to get to get my food and ignored the stares as I made my way over to him. He saw me and wouldn't look away until I was sitting right next to him.

"_You."_

Me?_ I didn't believe it at first but the look in his eyes told me it was the truth. "How did my parents die? All I saw were photographs."_

"_You saw..?" He ran a hand through his long hair and for a second I was able to see his flawless forehead. "A girl your age shouldn't be exposed to this sort of violence. We are still trying to find out who did it. There were no clues left and everything your parents were working on is locked away."_

"_I could help-"_

"_No." Caius interrupted me, speaking harshly. "You will not be involved with this. Not with the headaches you get."_

_I laughed. Shaking my head, I walked passed him and into the lounge. "You don't even know half of it."_

I wasn't hungry, but I knew that if I didn't eat, Noel would just worry more. Why did he care so much about me when everyone else I knew abandoned me? It was an answer I didn't know, for a question I was too scared to ask.

"You said you would tell me." He was talking with his mouth full of food and I tried not to laugh at how ridiculous he looked and sounded.

"Give me a few seconds." I took a deep breath before whispering so low that I hoped he wouldn't hear me. "I have glioma." I refused to look him in the eye but somehow knew he would be confused.

"What is that?"

"I have a tumour in my brain." _Three… two… one_.

"What?" He shouted while slamming both his fists on the table. Not only did this action cause their food to jump but they gained the attention of everyone in the large room, even all of the staff members that were supervising.

"Please don't make a scene." I pleaded with him.

"_I thought so." Caius followed me into the next room. "I want to know what you aren't telling that boy."_

_I sat on the couch, staring at my hands which were fidgeting badly. "I have glioma."_

"_Right…" He was nodding when I looked up at him and I was surprised he didn't need an explanation. Did he already know about it and was just waiting for me to come clean? "How are you coping?"_

_The concern I heard in his voice was strange, but it was only the second time I had heard the tone like that from him. "At the beginning it was bad, but…" I gave him a tiny smile. "I've accepted my fate."_

Noel stood and grabbed me, dragging me all the way to the library. When we were alone, his questioning began.

"What does this mean? What's going to happen? Are your headaches being caused by this?" His questions just kept coming.

It got to the point where I covered my ears with my hands and rested my forehead on the table. I could still hear the humming of his talking. Apparently he was ignoring the state I was in. I stopped what I was doing when I figured he might think I was getting a headache, but at the rate he was going I wouldn't have been surprised. I didn't know which question to answer first.

So I told Noel the most important answer he needed to know, I couldn't even remember if he had asked a question for it. "In six months I will die."

"What?" Again his fists made contact with the surface of the table. We were in the library and the librarian kicked us out for being disruptive.

"Can you stop doing that?" I asked, trying to be angry at him.

"_How long do you have to live?" Caius asked, taking a seat next to her on the couch._

"_The doctor told me a year." I said, getting up because I couldn't handle staying in one place. I went to the kitchen and he just followed me. "That was six months ago."_

_Caius stood there silently, his brain quickly solving the equation. "So… you only have six months left?"_

"_Yes." I started cooking dinner for the both of us. No matter what he said earlier, I didn't trust his cooking skills. "It is only an estimation. It could be more or less."_

"_How have you been able to hide it for so long?"_

"_I don't usually have nosy people wanting to know every single detail." I laughed at the face he made and continued cooking._

I couldn't wait for lunch to be over. Noel started fussing over _everything_. He was making up day to day plans, going overboard and all because I told him the truth. I tried to get him to listen and say it was unnecessary. Giving me more protein wasn't going to change the fact that I was going to die. He just got angry at me, accusing me of not trying, not caring. At the end I just told him we needed space, until _he_ finally accepted what was happening to _me_.

I couldn't say that I was surprised when I saw Noel standing outside my last class at the end of the day. He was a stubborn person and liked to make his own decisions, even if he chose something that hurt. I had only known him for a short time and could read him like a book. His emotions were always shown in his expressions, just waiting to be interpreted by someone. The other students, mainly the female kind, who were filing out of the classroom giggled and waved at him, but he took no notice.

"Have you thought about taking any treatments available?" He asked after we left the school grounds and were alone.

"I don't want to be miserable for the last part of my life." I said trying to walk as fast as I could. The sooner I got home the sooner Noel would leave me alone.

He snorted. "Are you saying that when you get your headaches, you are not miserable?"

"I've had my headaches for years Noel, _years_." I shouted at him and raised my arms expressively. I saw my door a few houses away and quickened my pace even more but he was able to keep in stride with me easily. Climbing the small steps I turned around to face him. "I just want to spend the rest of my time with my friends and _you_ are my only friend."

"What about your bodyguard?"

It was my turn to snort. "He hardly counts as a friend."

This seemed to please Noel and he said his farewell before walking in the direction they came from, to his own house. I had my hand on the door knob and paused before turning it and entering my home.

"_You can leave now." I told Caius bluntly._

_We were sitting in the lounge in silence. Dinner had been finished an hour ago and he made no move to leave. Even after I mentioned it, Caius sat there staring at the wall._

"_You really-"_

"_I think it will be best if I stay here. Who knows when your next headache will occur?" He interrupted me, with a voice that also told me not to argue._

"_I don't-"_

"_You are a minor who is living by herself." Caius was serious and I could tell me meant business. "I should've made myself known at the very beginning. I should've stayed at the hospital the first time…"_

"_The first time?" I was confused at what he meant._

_I had always hidden away whenever I felt the comings of a headache. There had been one time I was out shopping and it hit me suddenly. I passed out and woke up in the hospital, with no idea how I got there or who took me. The room had been empty so I assumed a random caring person dropped me off. _Had it been him? _That was also when they found the tumour._

_I was too shocked to argue anymore and told him if he wanted to stay he would have to sleep on the couch. I thought that after hearing where he was sleeping, Caius would leave and find somewhere more comfortable. There was a guest room in the house, but he didn't need to know that. He seemed content with the arrangements and just asked for a blanket._

The house was quiet and I thought that Caius had left. I went into the kitchen to fix myself a small meal before dinner. When walking towards my bedroom, I noticed the door to the guest room was opened a tiny bit. Finding this strange, I slowly went to the room, preparing myself for whatever I was about to find. I didn't think for a second that it was Caius and he had perhaps explored the house while I was at school. He had still been asleep on the couch as I left.

Inside the room was Caius in only a towel, his hair was also wet and dripping down his back. Before he dropped the towel to get changed I entered the room boldly, glaring at him through the mirror he was staring at. Seeing me, he quickly turned around a bit surprised and thankfully gripped the towel tighter to prevent it from falling.

"What are you doing in here?" We both asked in unison. While I said it angrily, he sounded as surprised as he looked.

I opened my mouth to speak but saw him do the same thing, so I closed my mouth. It was like we were mirroring each other. This continued repeatedly for a few more seconds until I didn't care if I was being rude or not anymore.

"This is my house!" I said harsh, I wanted to yell but thought it best for my health if I didn't.

"You failed to mention having a spare room."

I folded my arms and walked up to him. "Do I need to repeat myself?"

Caius laughed and being so tall was able to look right down at me. "You are still a minor."

"I've been fine before you turned up and I will be fine now!" I poked him in the chest and finally realised what he was wearing, or what _little_ he was wearing to be precise. "What _am_ I doing in here?" I blushed and turned around to leave quickly, not looking back.

"There's something on the table for you!" I heard Caius shout out after me.

_On the table?_ I didn't remember seeing anything there when I was in the kitchen. Damn my curiosity, it bested me, so I went to look. Just like Caius said, there was a medium sized square box on the table. A green ribbon matching my eyes was wrapped around it. Tentatively, I reached out for it and slowly pulled the ribbon apart.


	5. Stringing It Together

**A/N: **An update! Enjoy! x

* * *

Etro's Expiation - 4

The green ribbon fell away and I stood there for a few seconds just staring at the box, afraid of what could be inside. Closing my eyes, I took a few breaths and with shaky hands began to slowly lift the lid up. Opening my eyes, I was faced with an assortment of colourful beads and string. The corners of my lips turned upwards a little bit and I pushed my hand into the box, feeling the hard circular objects. I was alerted of a presence behind me as the sound of footsteps came closer.

"Did you get this for me?" I turned around to see Caius in his black uniform. I don't know why I was disappointed with this. _Doesn't he have something different to wear?_ It didn't help that all I could imagine was the towel incident a few minutes ago.

He looked away and ran his fingers through his hair. "Girls your age are into jewellery, right?"

I nodded and stared down at the box in my hands. "You didn't need to buy me this."

"You need to focus on the little life you have left. I thought you might have fun making yourself those things you can wear on your wrists or neck."

"Bracelets and necklaces?" I laughed at the idea of him not knowing what they were, but it made me happy knowing he cared, even if it was a waste of time and money on his part.

Apart from Noel, and that friendship has only been around for a couple of weeks, no one cared about me. I guess Caius could be added to the short list, even though he was only fulfilling the wish of my dead parents. It made me happy, that maybe life was worth living until it was over. I didn't have any false hope, but I could enjoy my last moments. He didn't reply so I began talking again, telling him something he probably didn't need to know.

"I'm… not afraid of death." I placed the box down in the lounge and went to the window to look outside. It had been forecasted that sunny weather was sure to arrive and stay. I hoped it would be true. I never liked looking at the gloom.

I felt the weight of Caius' hand on my shoulder. "Then you are already braver than I am."

"I doubt that." If I concentrated really hard, I could see his reflection in the glass of the window. "I haven't thanked you for the present yet. Thank you." I walked back over to the box and placed the lid back on it, encasing the beads in darkness once more.

"Don't mention it." I didn't plan on mentioning anything. If Noel were to find out, then he would make some competition out of it. They would probably go to crazy lengths. _Let's see who can give Yeul the best present_.

"You should make some with me later, it might help with all of your built up tension." I laughed at the face Caius made.

"There is no way I will _ever _make jewellery." He said it as if such an act was beyond him, I was sure to try and convince him somehow during the weekend.

* * *

_Green, white, blue_.

I looked at how Caius was going putting his beads on the pieces of string. His large hands were making it difficult for him and the intense look of determination on his face was too funny not to laugh. He took a second to glare at me before his attention went back to his work. The beginnings of whatever he was making only had monotonous beads on the string. I looked at the three bracelets I had already completed, which were colourful and much different in comparison to his.

_Red, green, yellow_.

The last bead was in place and after tying the ends of the string together, I smiled at it triumphantly. There was something about this one that I liked more than the rest, even though it looked the same as all the others. I put it over my hand and turned my wrist to gaze at it a bit more. After a few minutes I went to grab some more but thought to just stare at Caius' creation instead, the one that had taken him so long and it didn't seem to be anywhere near completion.

"It should be illegal to use one's pending death to guilt trip others." He must've known I was staring at him.

I ignored him his statement because it was true. "You should use more variety, at the rate you're going there will be no more red beads soon _and_ it will be dinner time!"

"Do you see me telling you how to make your bracelets?" Caius grabbed a bunch of red beads and turned around so I couldn't see what he was doing. "It is these damn beads and string. They're too small!"

"Don't blame the beads and string just because your hands are too big!" I went to sit on the other side of the three-seat couch, the side he was facing. "You're a giant!"

It was true, he towered over me. It probably wasn't a good example because I'm short and everyone is taller than me. But Caius towered over lots of people. If I could remember correctly, I think he was taller than my doctor and that was saying something. I grinned as he blatantly disagreed with me, putting the blame on everything else rather than himself. I knew too many people like that, though I was no different, especially when I found out about my illness.

"I'm not a giant."

"You are." I held out my hands so my palms were facing him. "Place your hands against mine." Hesitantly he raised his hands and did as I said. Even though I knew he had large hands, I was still surprised with how big they really were. His fingers would probably be able to curl over mine to cover at least half the length of them. "See?"

I saw Caius open his mouth to retort when a knocking on the front door was heard. I wasn't expecting anyone and I don't think he was either, so the sound was a surprise to the both of us. I stood and went over to the door, opening it without looking through the peephole to see who it was. Standing there was Noel. I noticed he looked very different while not wearing his school uniform. An exasperated sigh left me before I was able to stop it. I _was_ having so much fun.

"Your happiness to see me is just in the bucket loads." Noel said sarcastically while stepping passed me into the house. "Where's Caius?"

"He's-"

"Caius, show yourself!" Noel yelled out interrupting me. I went into the lounge where the beads and string were but no one was there and neither was his string of red beads. "I mean it Caius, come out!"

"Calm down." Caius came into the room yawning and looking like he had just woken up. _Sneaky bas- _"What is it you want Noel?" When he took a hand out of his pocket, I saw the string of red beads in it, I smiled knowingly at him but he appeared to be ignoring me.

"I want to take Yeul somewhere fun. She needs to enjoy life more." Noel said, looking Caius in the eye as if trying to give him a silent message he didn't want me to find out.

"Why couldn't you-"

"No." Caius left the room and Noel followed him. I also went with them to see the impending argument that was about to occur.

"Why not?" Noel asked defiantly. "I'm sure she would rather be hanging out with me than you."

"Actually-" I started to get frustrated because they weren't listening to me. Their voices slowly got louder and the argument more intense.

"I doubt that." Caius stated smugly. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"As soon as her parents come home, I'll… I'll-"

"What will you do?" Caius taunted. "Tell them, that I'm doing the job they're paying me for?"

They continued shouting meaningless threats at each other. I tried to cover my ears to block out the noise, knowing that all of this interaction was going to trigger a headache sooner or later. I didn't leave the room because these two could not be trusted together alone, especially if this was how they acted while someone else was still with them. I started screaming out because of the pain came at full force. I couldn't stop myself and part of me just wanted to throw a tantrum.

But I knew the guys would worry, so I quickly ran upstairs into my bedroom, hoping they wouldn't catch me, and locked the door. I couldn't hear any voices downstairs, but didn't know whether that was because they stopped arguing or it had something to do with the headache causing me to crouch beside my door in the foetal position. The banging on the door was sudden and made me cringe back at the closeness of it.

"Yeul open up!" Noel shouted, continuing to bang on the door and rattling the knob as if it would knock the whole thing down.

"No!" I screamed again as more pain shot through my head. "This is your fault!"

There was more banging on the door and I assumed it was Noel when I heard his voice again. "We need to take you to the hospital."

"You're not taking me there!" I refused stubbornly. "I'll be fine in here, just leave me alone."

There was a deep sigh on the other side of the door followed by some murmuring that I couldn't understand. I tried to block them out, block everything out. It was quiet after a while and I thought that maybe my blocking technique was working. Next I was suspicious because it was too quiet and I knew that they wouldn't leave me by myself even though I told them too. I truly wanted them to stay. I just didn't want to go to the hospital.

"Yeul, are you in there?" Caius spoke in a low voice.

_No, I jumped out the window. _"Yes." I gritted out through my teeth, keeping my thoughts silent.

"Let us in, I promise we won't take you to the hospital." He sounded as if he was being honest, but I couldn't be sure.

"Speak for yourself Caius." Noel yelled, to be quietened by the man.

"See? How can I trust you? What will you do when I pass out?"

"Pass out?" Noel repeated and began banging on the door again. "Yeul, you need to open up _now_. We will just watch over you but if you pass out we will have no way of keeping you safe."

"But…" I couldn't think of any more excuses to use and just hoped they would keep their word. "Fine." I had just opened the door in time as more pain coursed through my head. It became too much for me and I blacked out.

* * *

My eyes stayed close as I woke up. I felt as if I was sleeping right next to a heater. My mind was still groggy, so I was unable to understand that a heater couldn't possibly be next to me. All I could think about was the warmth radiating from it and wanting to get closer to it. I snuggled my head into it, breathing in the nice smelling scent. I stopped when it grunted. _Heaters don't grunt_. I opened my eyes, which were assaulted with purple strands of hair.

They started to tickle my nose and I tried my hardest not to sneeze. It was Caius. I was sleeping next to him and I could now feel the weight of his arm around my waist. My mind had instantly awakened as I wondered what I should do next. I could feel my cheeks heating up. It never occurred to me to wonder what _he_ was doing in my bed with me. My first thought was, _what was I thinking?_ Remembering clearly what I did that caused him to grunt.

His breathing was still shallow, so that meant he was still asleep. My next thought was more of a feeling. I was happy that I recognised the surroundings of my bedroom. Noel and Caius had kept their word, though I don't know what I would've done if they hadn't. I noticed the length of his eyelashes, that were long enough to make any girl jealous, including myself. They were splayed above his cheeks and gave the burly bodyguard an innocent look, if that was possible.

My curtains were opened and I saw the sun. It must've been the next day. Or it could've been a few days after. I had no way of telling unless I asked someone and I wasn't going to wake up Caius to find out. I was glad there wouldn't be any rain for a long time because it meant no thunder storms either. Noel had mentioned about doing something fun and I wondered what he had in mind. Would he have taken me to a theme park or maybe just shopping? I couldn't be sure, it didn't happen and probably wouldn't.

There was only one problem I was faced with at this moment and it was getting out of Caius' embrace without waking him up. I didn't want him to find out about being my cuddle buddy for the night. Slowly I lifted his arm while turning around. It was very difficult because every little movement would squeak the springs of the bed. I would pause after a few seconds each time to make sure he was still asleep. Soon I was out of the confines of his arm and on the very edge of the bed.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to tell me to move?"

His words surprised me because I was sure he had been asleep. They were said with humour and if I was facing him, I would probably see the smug smirk on his face. I fell out of the bed, due to being shocked, and onto something that was much more comfortable than the floor. Noel. He groaned in pain and pushed me off of him, I don't think he realised it was me. I didn't want any more embarrassing situations, so happily stayed on the floor beside him.

"Do you mind? Some people are trying to sleep." Noel rubbed his eyes to wake himself up and saw me beside him. "Yeul! Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you."

"I'm fine. What are you doing on the floor?" I asked getting up and dusting myself off. I was still wearing the same clothes, I was glad they hadn't felt the need to get me changed.

"I didn't trust Caius."

_Of course_. The feeling was probably mutual, seeing how their arguing triggered a headache. I would have to lecture them both about what not to do when around me, but right now there was something else I needed to say. "Thank you."

"What for?" They asked the question in unison, having different tones of huskiness in their voices.

"For keeping your word." I looked at each of them separately, blushing when my eyes met with Caius'. "Both of you."


	6. One Last Breath

**A/N: **This is a short premature ending to this story. I lost the motivation to write it even though I had lots I wanted to do with it. This chapter is parallel to the prologue and in Yeul's POV. One day in the distant future I would love to go back over this and be able to finish it properly. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! x

* * *

Etro's Expiation - 5

I was standing in front of a throne. No one was sitting in it but I could feel a presence near me. The surroundings around me looked like old ruins. I had never seen anything of this sort in my life. Was I already dead? Was this heaven? I wanted to walk away from the throne but a force kept me in my place. I wanted to be scared, but instead I was oddly calm. Were these my own emotions? Or was something making me feel differently to what I should?

_You don't have long to live._

A voice sounded around me, having no body that I could see. It had caused me to flinch at the suddenness of noise in the silence. Turning around there was a translucent being behind me. I couldn't make out any of its features but could see it hold out a hand towards me. I felt the need to step forward and take the hand, embrace the body it belonged to, but I resisted. Something wasn't right and there was a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I was forgetting important details.

_I am Etro. Do not be afraid._

Etro? As in the Goddess of death and chaos? I had only briefly read about her in a mythology book, a long time ago. It couldn't possibly be true, none of the legends were. The want of holding her hand became overbearing and as I stepped forward, reaching out my own hand, flashes of purple invaded my vision. It was then that I remembered the memories which had been held back from me. I jumped back, away from the supposed Goddess, unsure of what was going to happen. Seeing his face brought his name to the tip of my tongue.

"Caius…" I whispered. The world around me disappeared and I was opening my eyes again. I could see and smell the hospital room I was in, one I knew too well. I frowned at the thought of what was about to take place, but refused to allow myself to cry. I had to be strong, especially for him. The weight of one of his hands could be felt holding one of mine.

"Yeul, you are awake." I was still looking up at the ceiling. I didn't want to see the sympathetic expression which would be in his eyes. Feeling his hand on my cheek and his thumb stroking it, I could tell he was slowly moving my head to look at him. Just as I had thought, his purple eyes were filled with the emotion I didn't want to see. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me.

In the background I could hear someone else speaking but I didn't pay attention to what the voice was saying. After hearing the door close, I knew we were alone.

"How are you feeling?" He asked and I could see his eyes roaming over my face and down my arms.

"There is no pain." I smiled at him, knowing that my wellbeing was still the first thing on his mind. How long had I been unconscious for? I then remembered the first thing that Etro had told me when I was with her. "I do not have long to live…"

"What are you talking about?" His voice was gruff with disbelief, I knew he wouldn't take anything I had to say well, but it all needed to come out.

"Etro… she visited me while I was sleeping." Even I found it hard to believe my own words, but it was all I knew.

"Etro? Who is that?" His eyebrows drew together as he thought about something. "Wait… that still doesn't explain why you don't have long to…" He kept his mouth open as if wanting to say more but there was only silence.

I didn't bother finishing his sentence and let go of his hand. Knowing that I could die any moment, I wanted to give Caius something to remember me by. I looked at my wrist and my fingers hovered over one of the bracelets I made from the beads he had given to me as a present. Taking the first bracelet off, I held it out to him, hoping that he would accept it but he shook his head at me and pushed my hand away.

This gesture made me upset and I frowned at him. "Please… take it." He shook his head again and I decided to take action. If he wasn't going to willingly accept my gift to him, then I wasn't going to let him have a choice. I grabbed his arm, it was obvious that I was weak and if he really wanted to, he could easily push me away. The string was stretchy, able to go over his hand and around his wrist snuggly. Caius stared at the bracelet with a confused expression on his face. I gave him a small smile when his eyes finally met mine but I looked away soon after, staring up at the ceiling. "I am… thankful… to have met you."

I felt the need to close my eyes and somehow knowing I would probably never open them again, I gave Caius' hand one last squeeze before my eyelids fluttered shut. I plunge into darkness once again and had no idea where I was heading.

_Caius, I will never forget you._

The silhouette of Etro appeared before me and I was in front of the throne again. Her translucent hand was held out towards me and this time I stepped to her with no reluctance. As soon as my fingertips touched her, we were engulfed in a bright light. Even when I closed my eyes, all I could see and sense was the brightness. Whatever the Goddess had installed for me, I would allow it. Time seemed to blur into everything and when I became conscious again, I found myself standing on a grainy ground.

_Yeul_.

I heard a name that sounded familiar. Was it my own? Turning around, rays of a rising sun filtered over the horizon. There was a large amount of flowing substance behind me. Where was I? Who am I? A lone figure stood out in the liquid, waist deep in it. I could see his long purple hair flowing behind him with the soft breeze. Suddenly I felt like I shouldn't be there. As if sensing him blink I disappeared, running away and not realising that I was leaving no footprints behind. The familiar voice of Etro filled my mind.

_A miracle has happened. Use it wisely._


End file.
